5 Tips to Help your Marriage Grow
Marriage is like a sensitive plant. It needs to be nurtured in order to grow. Left by itself,
unattended, it will wither and die for want of attention. As will any relationship, no matter how legally
binding it may be. There are some steps you can take to ensure that your partner feels nurtured, and so
strengthen the roots of your marriage.
- Communicate with each other. If you don’t like something, say so. If you really don’t want to
go to a friend’s for dinner, or you’re too tired to go see a movie, say so. There’s no point expecting
your marriage partner to be psychic to your needs and then blaming them for not being considerate when you
should have been honest in the first place. Possibly your partner won’t be overjoyed at your feelings,
especially if the outing has been planned for some time, but at least it’s better that they hear the truth
beforehand then face the resentment afterwards.
- Little things mean a lot. Don’t think that big
romantic gestures are needed in a marriage to keep your partner happy. Often it’s the little things
that you do that can make the difference between them feeling loved and cared for or
neglected. In a quiet moment, make a mental list of the things that make them smile – such as
a cup of coffee/tea in bed first thing in the morning, a greeting card, a flower, a backrub, etc.
Then try every week to do at least one of the things on the list without being prompted or looking for
praise. Run your partner a bubble bath, leave a drink of choice and magazine by the tub, and then
tell them there’s a surprise in the bathroom – but make sure it’s at an appropriate time (doing it whilst
she’s in the middle of putting the kids to bed for example isn’t going to go down well!) when she’s
relaxing and not doing something else.
- Respect each other’s opinions. A marriage of two people who love each other doesn’t mean that they
have to agree on everything. The trick is to respect that each of you has the right to hold your own
opinions without the other constantly telling you that you’re wrong. Perhaps you have a different
political opinion, perhaps you are from different religious backgrounds – these are big issues, but they
weren’t so big that they stopped you getting married, so don’t let them overshadow your marriage now.
- Don’t let resentment build. People don’t usually like to say things that they know will hurt someone
else, but if by remaining silent you are building up a resentment barrier in your marriage, you are putting up
a barrier that will be hard to remove. If your partner has a habit of leaving the toothpaste top off,
scratching their head, snoring in bed – whatever it is that irritates you, think through what it is you want
your partner to do as a result of your mentioning this, and then choose your time and words carefully and talk
about what’s upsetting you. It could be something that’s easy to clear up, such as the toothpaste top, or
it could be something that may take some time and thought, such as the snoring.
- Show your partner that you love them, and that you’re proud of them, even in public. That doesn’t
necessarily mean that you have to have public shows of affection, but something like a warm smile, a slight
caress as you move past each other, a shared look can all say much about the state of a marriage.
Your partner and the marriage you have together should be one of the main priorities in your life. Spend a
little time nurturing it every day and it will blossom into a lifetime of love and friendship.
One way of ensuring that you are going to be able to get the moment right is usually to book a romantic
retreat. Whether you choose a luxury spa hotel and propose in your private Jacuzzi, or a small lakeside cabin
where you make your marriage proposal as you both watch the moon reflecting in the water below, you are certain to
create an intimate memory that will start your permanent relationship on the right note.
The problem with weddings is that they often become a whirlwind of fitting in with what everyone else
wants. The bride and groom settle for keeping the peace within the families and allow the wedding wheel to
encircle, and even occasionally engulf, them. Even with a couple who control most of the arrangements, they
still like to keep all sides happy and do compromise on what they really want in the actual wedding, but the
marriage proposal is strictly between them. By the time everyone else is in on it, it’s a done deal. So
whether your following convention and proposing to the lady in your life, or flouting tradition and proposing to
your man, give a little bit of thought to the marriage proposal and make it a special day for you both to